Friday, May 24, 2013

How we got to #1...

First things first, my husband and I are in agreement with this being posted.

Second things first, this road called "Adoption" it's not just about bringing this child/these children home.
It's a tool the Lord uses to rid your life of everything not of Him. Put your big girl panties on. 
It's called sanctification aka adoptification. 

You might have seen this yesterday with a bunch of these !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and cry faces!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's because we found out yesterday we are number One on the waiting list!!!!!!!
Next is a picture, her face, her birth name, her age----HER!!!!

I wanted to share with you how we became number one......

In December of 2011 our marriage went through a very difficult time that we would not have made it through with out Jesus Christ and His Word. It's just that simple.

When you are in sin, it will eventually come to the surface and be revealed either by an act or confession.
Sin came into the light and it rocked our marriage to core. The details of the sin are not important.
Because all sin is sin.
What happened after it came into the light is what we want to share.

We placed our adoption on hold. We do anything, especially anything the Lord would have us to with this is our lives.
We emailed our Agency & told them we were handling some issues within our family and for now we needed to put the breaks on our adoption until further notice.

This was a very difficult decision for us.
Sin had to be dealt with and counseling/restoration were necessary and Roger and I knew it.
This hold was a consequence of what had happened.
You need to know there are MAJOR consequences if you are in sin.

And did you know, when someone confesses sin, it causes you to examine your own heart?
And guess what, I had some confessing to do as well. The Lord had me confess sin to my husband that had been in my own life that wasn't sin directly against him but was effecting our marriage and I didn't even realize it.

If we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 
1 John 1:9

We went straight into Biblical Marriage Counseling. Counseling that included homework-Studying Romans, paper based homework, electronic based homework and face to face home work between Roger and I. We also had intense accountability with trusted fellow believers. The couple of people in our lives that knew the details of what was going on & asked the hard questions, went to the deep places with us, that bathed us in prayer, prayed for our children, were on their knees in the night doing battle for us and gave wise biblical counsel.

I can tell you that it was during this time of our lives that this verse changed me forever.


Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sin.
1 Pet 4:8

And it did.
My love for the Lord, my love for the unity, sanctity, healing of my marriage, my love for my husband-even though the sin hurt so deeply, helped me over alllllll of that sin.
Deep love.
Deeeeeeeeeeeeeep love.
The Love that only comes from our Father and through the Holy Spirit.

It was this deep love that put Jesus on the cross! His love is what covers ALL of our sin!

God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed His life, shedding his blood. Rom 3:25

How could I not forgive in light of my own sin.
We were determined to fight for our marriage!
To wade through the sea of hurt & pain not just to say we did it, because let me tell you, there is NOTHING you can do on your own! This kind of conquering can ONLY be done through the power of the Holy Spirit.
HE did it.
HE provided this deep love that helped both of us cover our sin. 

We were officially taken off of hold  on Feb 1, 2012. 
We called the agency and told them we were ready to move forward with our adoption. 

 My prayer after we proceeded was that the Lord would REDEEM our time on hold.

That He would some how honor our obedience in walking out this time we had just went through.
That He would somehow give us back the days we lost...


Can I tell you the reason why we became Number One is because the family in front of us put themselves on HOLD..........

They received a domestic placement (adopted a child in the United States.)

I'm not really sure how to word what is on my heart other than the feeling of having some time redeemed.
Feeling like we were bumped up a spot, moved forward, time given back.

This is such a personal feeling but I just want you to see and know that the Lord, our God is so much bigger that we are. His time table, His plan for our lives is inconceivable. And He is good! 
Sin causes pain. But oh how His forgiveness, restoration and redemption is JOYOUS!!!!

As Roger and I laid in the bed last night he drifted off to sleep and I laid there thinking of allllllll of this with tears streaming down my face.

All of that hurt, all of that pain, all of that darkness piercing into the light that was gut-wrenching to deal with, He did it. He brought us through it.
He made our marriage brand new, He made our intimate lives brand new, healing some painful areas that were SO deep seeded from our childhood carried into our marriage. 

Roger's life was changed in such a way that his eyes were open to exactly what sin is and how it separateness us from Christ and that He died to cover this exact sin we were both dealing with. He got saved!

This being Number One is so much more than being at the top, it is a spot we have been longing for and knowing just how we arrived here means all the difference in the world.......



All glory and honor to Your name oh Lord!!!!
It is YOU and ONLY YOU to whom we give all the praise!!

The Lord has done amazing things for us!
We are GLAD!!
Ps 126:3

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim


Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
James 5:16

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you & stopped trying to hide my guilt.
I said to myself "I will confess my rebellion to the Lord."
And You forgave me! All my guilt is gone.
Ps 32:5



Baobab Tree, Musina, South Africa ,May 2012
"Tree of Life"

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Withhold...


Withhold: 
  1. Refuse to give (something that is due to or is desired by another): "the withholding of consent to treatment".
  2. Suppress or hold back (an emotion or reaction).



It was one Sunday morning a few months ago in the midst of a discouraged-haven't-heard-anything-in-a-while waiting month, the Lord reminded me:

I'm not withholding her from you......

If I'm honest, these are thoughts that pop up from time to time...

*There are things the Lord is working on in me & until fill in the blank is conquered and done THEN He'll send her...

*Surely we need to get my #3's out-of-control behavior under control before He'll send her...

*Roger and I have a few things that still need to be sanctified in our marital relationship before she'll come....

*I've given up on the needing to be in a better spot financially one before she gets here... that will NEVER happen ;)

*How in the WORLD can we add another crazy to the mix of the 3 we have now. We need to get a better handle on them before He'll send her....

These are just to name a few.

But here's the truth...

The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.
Ps 84:11b

By now you know this adoption is something the Lord specifically called us to do as a family. This has NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING to do with how good or "right" we are. The only good you see in us is Jesus. 


SHE, however, our Lily is good. 

And He is NOT withholding her from us. He's not refusing to send her. He's not dangling her over our head as a reward to get things "right" or "better" before He decides it's time.


{Repeat out loud to yourself Kimberly Ann.}

He doesn't withhold good things from those who do what is right!


He knows the exact date we'll get the email.
The date we'll travel.
The date she'll be in our arms.
The date she'll step foot in this house.

He's not keeping her from us. It's not in His character.

Has He called you to something and you are waiting for it?
He's not withholding/refusing to give it/him/her to you.

Wait on Him...

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

This was taken out of the van window while we were traveling in South Africa one year ago this week...

 
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