This is GOOD NEWS my friends!! Our agency emailed us to let us know the license had been renewed & we were good to move forward with waiting for our daughter!!
I can't say thank you enough for the prayers, messages & texts of encouragement. The body of Christ as it's finest! THANK YOU!!
I also referenced a "fight" aka "ware zone" that ensued during the month of agony in between the bad and good news. I wanted to share what I fought in hopes of encouragement!
When we were told the news of the hold/government changes our options were:
-Wait out the changes in Ethiopia
-Switch Countries
My prayers quickly turned into ones that sounded like this:
"LORD!! What do we do?!?!?! Do we wait out these changes that could take a year or more or do we switch countries? But I don't want to switch countries Lord! My heart is tied to Ethiopia!"
"My heart is tied to Ethiopia" = prayed for, as in asked the Lord to send rain for good crops/jobs, for Him to send missionaries to pray over her & love on the people/children in her orphanage & spread the Gospel, for Christian radio to hit the airwaves there & saturate their hearing with songs that tell of our God & His story, longed for, studied about, eaten their food, looked into the eyes of beautiful Ethiopian people, talked everyday about, dreamed about, purchased their music and the list goes on and on.
The thought of "switching countries" did NOT float my boat, in fact it made me, still makes me sick to think about. "Switching countries" was NOT an option for me the 1st couple of weeks into this pause.
{Not to mention the fact that Roger kept reminding me that the Lord gave us a specific Word that our daughter was to come from Ethiopia.}
A few days into the news we learned that we indeed had a few other options we could seek out.
We could switch to an Agency (who's license was still active) that include an Ethiopia program and be placed on their wait list OR we could seek out waiting child lists' and choose a child from a list.
I reached out to a couple of lists & emailed an agency & the response was like a door closing to those options.
So back to square one. Wait or switch countries.
Here ensues the battle......
-Is this what You're doing Lord? Closing the door to ET and pointing us towards another country?
-Is this my flesh desiring to switching countries so we can get this show on the road (see some movement?)
I needed discernment.
{the ability to decide between truth and error, right and wrong. Discernment is the process of making careful distinctions in our thinking about truth. In other words, the ability to think with discernment is synonymous with an ability to think biblically.}
Biblical discernment is explained PERFECTLY in this post by John MacAuther
I knew that if we were to change countries it would be to Madagascar.
{It's the island everyone leaves off when thinking/talking about/printing Africa.}
The Madagascar program opened up in our Agency soon after we were approved & into our paperwork. I remember the day I found out and thought, a) Where exactly is Madagascar? & b) How cool to adopt a child from there! And honestly never thought about it again, until now.
I am not exaggerating when I say that the thought of changing from Ethiopia to Madagascar literally made my heart hurt, it LITERALLY made my heart hurt. As soon as the thought came to mind I would make myself quickly think of something else. And I mean, with a quickness!
My track record with the Lord when praying over decisions/seeking His will has been asking Him to literally put it in front of me all the time, show me in His word, make it in neon pink all over the place, door WIDE OPEN, in other words Lord, make it CLEAR! No gray, no guessing, no hesitation. OR slam the door shut & prevent us from moving foward.
-As I somewhat allowed the idea of switch countries stay longer than a millisecond, I called a adoptive momma and while talking about the situation with her she shared with me that in her two adoptions, the Lord changed their country. {sick feeling}
-I walked into Publix and literally ran into a buggy filled with markdowns of Valentine Day cards and guess what theme they were, Madagascar (the movie). {sick feeling}
-When I would log onto FB random posts involving Madagascar would pop up. {sick feeling}
-I started dreaming about it. {sick feeling}
The list goes on and on. And on and on. It was beginning pop up everywhere I turned.
Except for the Word.
I told the Lord I did NOT want this to be me running wild with my own desires. Seeking this out on my own. Wanting this just to see us moving. And at the same time was begging Him to make it clear if this were His doings or not.
Did He tell us Ethiopia to get us into Madagascar?
Did He close the door to open another one?
DO YOU SEE MY STRUGGLE HERE????????
I slowly starting Googling Madagascar. Images/maps/religion/culture.
I looked for maybe 5 min's and closed it out.
{SICK FEELING}
Emily and I went to see Les Mis in Charleston, SC a couple weekends ago. That morning in our hotel our conversation ended up on Madagascar. We stumbled upon a blog of a family in Atlanta that was adopting from Madagascar, watched a video of an adoption from Madagascar & saw beautiful pictures of Madagascar. That afternoon after we ate lunch we turned to walk down a side walk and a trolley pulled up beside us. Guess what plastered on the side of it?
MADAGASCAR
All I could do was look at her and laugh.
WHAT IN THE WORLD LORD???
I told her on the way home I guess it was time for me to get serious about praying about Madagascar.
I still had that hurt. That sting every time I thought about it.
BUT, GOD....
The Lord is so gentle. He's such a gentleman.
The sweet reminder of just being willing was remembered.
The willingness that got us here in the first place.
The willingness of two years ago when we said "Lord here is our YES. Whatever you want us to do, whatever the cost, whatever it looks like, whatever it takes, we are willing."
Maybe He just wants us to be willing to change our countries.
Willingness doesn't mean it's not going to be painful or you won't be scared to death.
It's just simply a surrender of my will and acceptance of His.
So I told Him last Tuesday morning on the way to Bible study. I'm willing Lord. It hurts to think about, it's not what I want, but if it's Your will, I'm willing.
That afternoon is when we got the news Ethiopia was GOOD TO GO & our pause was OVER!
That.after.noon!!
We were staying with Ethiopia!!!
I can't put into words exactly how I felt.
The THANKFULNESS that He allowed us to stay with Ethiopia.
The THANKFULNESS that the changes/decisions only took 1 month. ONE month people!
The RELIEF of the battle of switching countries was over, just like that. In 1 minute all of the sleepless nights constant prayer, insane emotions. Over, just like that.
The REALIZATION that the Creator of the universe bent His ear down & heard my cries and even answered me.
He's so good y'all. He's so faithful.
He only wants your "YES."
He only wants your willingness.
Let Him decide the rest. What it will look like & be full of. He'll show you and it will be very clear!
6 Months. We've been waiting six months.
Because waiting is NOT paused. It is a slow play.
Waiting has never felt so good....
As soon as I pray, you answer me, you encourage me by giving me strength.
Ps 138:3
Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us!
We are glad!
Ps 126:3
Some friends & I have had this on repeat this week.
Have a listen.
It's a good one :)
May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,
Kim
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