Other Plans.

There's so much to say.....

January: Our agency informed us that they officially lost their license in Ethiopia and we were given 2 decisions; Switch countries and remain with this agency or change agencies and start over with Ethiopia.

Listen, this battle of "changing countries" (this time it was Uganda) had been looming over us for what seems like a year and each time we have asked the Lord for guidance, a peace has never been given to make the change.

I found myself in Ps 143.

QUICKLY LORD answer me...
SHOW US where to walk...
TEACH US to do YOUR will....
HOLY SPIRIT LEAD US forward on firm footing...
FOR.THE.GLORY.OF.YOUR.NAME!

I begged this from the Lord. Cried out honestly.

Now in praying for the Lord to show us what to do, we researched what our options were.
Since Uganda was the other country choice I posted on a FB group for Uganda Momma's to please contact me bc I had some questions. Adoption peeps *UGANDA MOMMA'S HAVE THEIR JUNK TOGETHER!* Each country has their own thing going as far how how adoptions are facilitated and most adoptions from Uganda are done independently from an agency. I was allowed to be a part of private FB group for Uganda momma's and received straight up facts and also asked them if they had heard of a couple of names our agency gave us they were working with in Uganda.

The other option was to switch agencies and start all over. The one I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO DO! Trust another agency after what we have been through the past 2 years? Trust another agency after this one just all of a sudden lost their license? Trust another agency PERIOD? START OVER? We've been #1 for almost 8 months! We've waited over a year (which is nothing honestly)! All our paperwork is done! We are logged into ET already! START.OVER???? Bless....

There were several agencies still active with Ethiopia that I contacted and each time had very pleasant experiences and positive but also truthful information about the stability of ET adoptions. (A lot has happened since Christmas.) I also reached out to a few friends & strangers and asked for personal references regarding their experiences with one agency specifically. The feedback was positive and so I did more research on this agencies license in ET, called with specific questions regarding ethical adoptions, etc. After several conversations with this agency and pleasant email correspondence (listen, at this point I was in tears talking with the lady bc she was so nice compared to what we had experienced the past 2 years-I'm sure she thinks I'm cra) I gave it all to Roger and said "If we switch agencies this is the one."

Roger and I prayed together and separately and had one final call to make with our agency to talk with them one last time about some specifics and make sure we understanding exactly what the deal was.

We prayed together over the phone and made the conference call.

You know what, the Lord reveals His will in many ways. This time it was through a negative circumstance and we knew the second the phone call ended what the Lord would have us do.

We withdrew from our agency on Friday, Feb 14th (Valentines Day, I know, right?) and were accepted into the International Adoption Agency (IAN) family on Feb 17th.
We had just gotten out of a movie with the kids so we were all together as a family and sitting in the car when we got the call we were accepted. I was thankful to the Lord for Him allowing all of us to be together for that!

(this pictures is before we went in for the movie but describes perfectly the way we felt after the call. Minus the tears! ) 

Over the course of Feb 14-Feb 17 my body was acting very strange.
And by strange I mean all signs were pointing to the fact that I was pregnant.

I felt sick sick to my stomach, I wanted to eat certain things, several other woman things were happening &  my body physically was acting like it was pregnant JUST like it did with each of my pregnancies with my boys. 

Sunday morning I told Roger I couldn't stand it but after church we were going straight to the store to get a test.

So we did.....

 It was negative.

I was shocked honestly bc I just felt physically exactly the way I did when I was pregnant with the boys.

I'll be curious to know further on down the road what, if anything, was transpiring around this time and welp, let's face it, we are paper-pregnant again to say the least ;) And have a new beginning with a new agency.

Was starting over what I wanted to do. Ummm NO. But, it was exactly what the Lord had in mind.

Here are a couple of testimonies of what He has done since we've changed agencies.

Remember that $20,000 grant we received like right at the start of our paperwork process several years ago? If you don't remember you have GOT to read about what He did here!

Well, we had a balance of $17,600 left over.

When IAN sent me the fee sheet, guess what the cost totaled?

$17,600!!!!!

Only the Lord y'all. 

We have literally started over with paperwork.
Application fee, application paperwork, Program paperwork, re-doing our Dossier-whole 9 yards.

Now, usually you are not placed on the dreaded wait-list until all of your documents have been complete.

They allowed us to enter onto the wait-list while we are gathering our Dossier Documents!

Only the Lord y'all.

Here is the other thing.

Our previous agency was classified as a Christian Agency. This new agency is not.
Our prayer is that through this the Lord will use our case, use us, to draw someone who might be lost to salvation in Jesus Christ. If one person comes to saving faith in Him, ONE person, this starting over will be worth every.single.tear.shed!
Will you pray for us? For all of our interaction with this agency that they will see Christ? 

 Can I be real for just a minute?

We have reached the point in the process that honestly, in my own heart, it's not even about the child/children. It's about me and the Lord.

There has been some MAJOR sanctification going on up in here.
When you take your eyes off of your circumstances and FIX them on the Lord, it changes everything.

Do I still long for her? Absolutely.
But do I long for the Lord more, you bet your bottom dollar.

Do I still think of her and pray for her? Yes ma'am I do.
But do I desire His Word above anything else, YES.I.DO!

The story of Esther along with the story of Lazarus have comforted me a lot during this season of my life. (There are sooooo many things to glean from these stories!) And have cause me to examine my motives, my view of the Lord's character and His glory & His holiness.

After Jesus received word that Lazarus was sick, instead of leaving & going to him immediately, He choose to stay where He was for 2 more days. (John 11:5)

Then He told His disciples "Lazarus is dead. And for your sakes, I'm glad I wasn't there, for now you will really believe. Come, let's go see him." (John 11:14)

After Jesus finally arrived, He was told Lazarus had been in the grave for four days.
Mary fell at His feet and said "If you had only been here, my brother would not have died!" (John 11:32)

What if Jesus would have came immediately when He heard Laz was sick? He more than likely would have spared his life and sure, people would been astonished.

BUT: 

What would have brought the Lord more glory? 
What would have caused more people to have faith and believe in Christ?

Healing a sick man?
Or raising a dead man who had been in the grave for four days?

What would have made Mary more comfortable and pleased her more?
For Jesus to come quickly and heal Laz before he died? Or allow him to die & be buried for 4 days?

I have been Mary. I have wanted the Lord to come quickly and complete this part of our adoption process by giving us a referral and bringing Lily home.
Don't you see how hard & painful this is Lord? I know it's within Your power to do this! Come quickly and fulfill this promise! Make this roller coaster end.

But Jesus choose to delay in coming. He waited for Lazarus to die. And he was really dead. Like 4 days dead.
But oh when Jesus called Lazarus out from that grave!

After Jesus had the stone over the entrance of Lazarus' grave rolled away He said to Martha "Didn't I tell you that you would see God's glory if you believe?" (John 11:40)

After Lazarus was called out of the grave and came walking out alive the Bible says "Many of the people who were with Mary believed in Jesus when they saw this happen." (John 11:45)

So, if the Lord will receive more glory from a 4-5 year adoption rode, that has been started and re-started, hard, painful & bumpy than a smooth, 2 year rode---we.are.willing.to.go.there.

If more people will "believe in Christ" & place their faith in Him because of this delay---we.are.willing.to.go.there.

All along the way knowing He is sovereign- moving in situations, preparing hearts, working behind the scenes in places our earthly eye can not see- we are choosing to see and believe with our spiritual eyes- that He will finish what He has started, His plans will prevail. No matter how long it takes. No matter how painful it is. No matter how much it costs--we.are.all.in.
 
We can't thank you enough for all of the prayers lifted up on our behalf. On Lily's behalf &  the thoughtful tangible gifts along the way. They have encourage us so much! His little nuggets of mercy along the way and through grace we receive them.

As far as numbers go we are on the lists:

Infant Girl: 40, #24 of active families

Toddler Girl: 39, #26 of active families

Sibling group: 24, #17 of active families

So we are on 3 different lists & our #'s on the wait list are :
 #24
#26
#17

Not too bad I think! Honestly I was expecting a WHOLE lot worse!

Questions:

*So how long now?

The reality is that it could be years. They are giving us the general 18-24 month approx time but new requirements have been added to the process that will lengthen.

What's this sibling group stuff about?

From the start we felt the Lord wanted us to be willing to be open to a sibling group. Meaning if Lily has a brother or sister they would come home with us.

Over the past few weeks we have opened up our age range a bit & listed a few special needs.

We are now open to a female 0-5 & the second child 0-11.

Can I be real again?

I'm praying she has an older brother who is 11. I know, it's crazy. Please read 2 Cor 5:13.
This boy momma heart of mine.... I can't explain it. 
The Lord hard-wires us for His plans. It could include a single female or it could include 2 females or it could include a female and a male. Only the Lord knows.

Do you have all of the money you need?

No. We are always saving back in our Adoption Savings account for when it's time travel and if there are 2 children we will need to raise approx $7-10,000 more. He will provide. I'm confident of this!

What about you? Do you have any questions?

We've been continuing on with life just as He would have it.

I'm entering into a season of busy-ness with work, the kids have 1 month left of school, and Roger just got back from Cuba. Nothing has slowed down :)

not by sight.

2 Cor 5:7

We are keeping our eyes on Him, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. With Him nothing is impossible and with Him we can do anything because He is our strength! He's all we want, He's all we long for. More of Him and less of us. Less of satisfying our own comfort and ease. We are taking up our cross and dying daily to our flesh all for His glory and to walk intimately with Him.
Do you know Him? Have you trusted Him as Lord and Savior of your life? I would love to talk with you if you haven't!!

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory & grace,


Kim

I've gone past "my" due date...

Welp. 

We skipped right on past 9 months of waiting and we're in month 11.

I have officially passed my due date. {Friends who have been pregnant, you KNOW the weight behind those words}. Being "paper pregnant" has a LOT of similarities.} That's another post. 

Because you know, I have have it figured out and know EXACTLY when this African princess will be born into our lives.

In the words of the early 90's *SIKE*.

I have no.clue.

Our summer was pretty eventful with lots of bike riding, trips to Chehaw, a trip to the ER, playing in the rain, birthday's, the beach, ice-cream,  movies and spur of the moment road trips, my #2 going to big church for the first time, Kari Jobe concert, swimming, 4th of July, PRECIOUS outfits showing up in the mail for her, bags of super cute clothes being brought over, her side of the room being prepared. It actually flew by very quickly.

But there was one conversation that happened about once a week....

Roger: We bought that push mower for Cameron to cut the grass. Why do you keep cutting it?

Me: Because I can see it & I have a longing to cut the grass.

I'm a visual person. 

I like to read books with pictures.

I like to take pictures.

I like to see things.

Its very obvious when you cut the grass that something is happening. And with all the rain we had there was a LOT to see because it just kept growing and growing and growing. 

When we built our house (don't worry it's not a huge fancy thing like you prob just imagined) we had to cut as many corners as we could to afford it and along with crown molding went landscaping.  Nothing was planted. Not a single bush or square of grass was laid out. So we spent a LOT of time praying for grass.

A former neighbor even helped up plant some seeds and we watered and watered and watered. We were the neighbors flipping their porch lights on & off in the odd hours of the night moving sprinklers around in desperation to wake up one morning and see tiny little green sprigs popping up through the dirt.

We seeded the back but not the front.... this picture my friends is of the FRONT yard.

Only Jesus made that grass grow.

So in my longing to mow the grass I thanked Him with every.single.row. I made in that yard. Sometimes backing up and re-mowing over an area because it was SO THICK! 

Thanking Him for HEARING our prayers for grass for ANSWERING these prayers and for GIVING us grass and for going over and beyond and giving us THICK PRETTY GREEN grass. He is faithful in the big and the small my friends. Never think anything you are praying for is trivial and ALWAYS give Him the glory when He answers!

This act of mowing the grass was soothing to my soul & was the perfect visual of something for me to see in this waiting season.

Such a reminder that He is HEARING our prayers and that He will ANSWER our prayers and that He will go over & beyond and give us a BEAUTIFUL daughter that I can WAIT to lay my eyes on! 

I just mowed my little heart out y'all. Crying out to the Lord with every row for our Lily. Imagining her sitting on our front porch with side walk chalk as I mowed wondering if next summer she would be here. Lots of praying and rejoicing and thanking was done this Summer in cutting that grass.

Oh 11 months... eleven, as is next month will be a year. A year of waiting.... Honestly I can't believe it. I mean I can but I can't.

While the summer went by quickly I had the opportunity to make lots of new friend via social media.

You know, sometimes social media gets a bad wrap but in the adoption community the Lord.uses.it!! Can I get an amen adoptive mamma's?? And daddy's? (that was for you Todd) 

Along with new friends comes lots of knowledge about the adoption process because some of your new friends are further along in their journey.

Here is a MAJOR thing I learned. 

While there are MILLIONS of orphans not all of them are adoptable.

So what does THAT mean?

There are laws put into place to protect against illegal adoptions. Go here for more information. 

These children have to become adoptable. This process is completed on the Orphanage side.

While we had mounds of paperwork to complete in order for us to adopt, there are LOTS of things that have to happen for Lily for her to become available for adoption.It varies from country to country.

For Ethiopia, part of that process is locating the person who either abandoned her at the orphanage OR the person who found her and brought her to the orphanage. Now listen, I'm not talking driving across town or down the street locating, I'm talking the possibility of her mother traveling, maybe by foot, many miles into the city from a village to bring her to the orphanage bc she knows she will be cared for & fed. I'm talking locating a random person who found her on the street and brought her to the orphanage in a city of MILLIONS. (in 2008 Addis Ababa had a population of 3.385 MILLION people.) 

Once this person is found they have to appear in court. The purpose of this to prove that she is a true orphan or is being orphaned. There are many reasons why children are orphaned. In Africa many times it's due to disease, mother dies from HIV & there's no one to care for them, or bc there are too many children for a single mother to care for and she knows that by taking them to the orphanage they will be fed & taken care of and eventually adopted. 

If this person can not be located and if found does not appear in court, the process of making her adoptable doesn't continue. *deep breath*long sigh*

Every orphanage I have ever seen has been a little understaffed and over populated by children. Bottles are propped up during feeding time, children are not really played with, lots of time spent in the crib or pack-n-play time because there are simply not enough hands. And I admit the thought of it being the orphanages responsibility to find the time to seek out these people, help them make their court date, get medicals done & simply deem the child ADOPTABLE sounds impossible. But it does happen! 

Add in the fact that it's rainy season in Ethiopia and <BAM> that makes everything more difficult. They close court because no one can get to the court house bc the roads are in such horrible condition from the rain. The power goes on and off, the internet is in and out. Think of how we would be affected if it rained this much where we live....

(picture from a FB missionary friends page he posted from the streets of Addis)

And on top of all of this we are currently on hold, again.

There are some licening issues in Ethiopia with our agency. They have told us they are "close" to having it resolved but until it's resolved referrals/adoptions are not happening.

*sigh*

This is what we have been praying this week regarding the licensing issue:

Prepare the way of the Lord,

Make straight in the desert

a highway for our God.

Every valley shall be exalted

And every mountain and hill brought low;

The crooked places shall be made straight

and the rough places smooth;

The glory of the Lord shall be revealed,

and all flesh shall see it together.

Isaiah 40:3-5

That every obstacle to get this license complete would be removed, every difficult area would be straightened, that the Lord would burden the hearts of these government officials to get this done, that there would be a sense of urgency within, that the Lord would give favor to the agency representative handling this in Ethiopia. And all this so that the glory of the Lord will be revealed for everyone to see.

We are asking Him to do things that only He could do. If we could do them then we would seek the praise and you wouldn't see the power and sovereignty of our God. THIS is why we have walked this adoption so visibly, so you reader would see the Lord and His power. This is His stage, not ours, this is about Him, not us. For the first year we were busy with paperwork, busy fun-raising, busy busy busy and now....there is nothing left to do but wait. 

I don't want this waiting season to be wasted. I have had so many intimate moments with the Lord and tried to blog them but y'all, somethings are too imitate to be shared. Our God is so in tune with us. And in the midst of hard and pain and frustration He meets you there and does things that you have a hard time puting into words. He longs for our hurts to be turned towards Him not away from Him. He is waiting to lavish us with His power through the Holy Spirit. 

You know that's what He left us right? When He died on the cross and went up to Heaven, He left His Holy Spirit inside of us if you are a Born Again Believer. And He never leaves us. (John 14:16-18)

He empowers us to do things we can't do on our own in our own strength. In our weakness is when His strength is the MOST perfect! (2 Cor 12:9-11) What a perfect place to be, WEAK! Then it's HE gets the glory because it's HIS strength that carries us through & not our own.  #howdopeopledoitwithouttheLord 

He has such patience with us. I didn't fully surrender my life to Him until my 30's. And He endured with me that long! 

Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:16:

But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of His great patience with even the worst of sinners. The others would realize that they, too, can believe in Him and receive eternal life.

We, wretched sinners, are the example of His great patience! 

He waited for Noah to build the arc before He flooded the Earth. (1 Pet 3:20) He is slow to anger and rich in love. (Ps 103:8) His patience is not like my patience! I think of my lack of patience at the red light, in the drive through, doing homework with my children, with people; it's so limited & based on my circumstance. His exercise of His power is His patience! And He desires to give us that same power through His Holy Spirit. (Gal 5:22) 

His patience with me motivates me to wait patiently for Him through the power of His Holy Spirit.  

So you may ask, what does it take so long to adopt? 

There are many reasons, finding people, rain, paperwork, red tape & the list goes on and on but oh how His Word & the Holy Spirit provide such strength & POWER as to wait patiently for Him! 

And the end result in all of this is yes, a cute little African princess but the PRIZE is knowing Him more, nothing compares! 

Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Jesus Christ my Lord.

Phil 3:8

A little treat from last night, seeing the African Children's Choir who just *happened* to come through our town on tour. 

I'm so thankful for the opportunity I had to go with a team to South Africa last year and I can tell you the moment they opened their mouths the tears started flowing. 

Something about hearing another tribe our God created singing praises to Him!!! 

And a very personal praise is that the Lord allowed my husband to hear the sounds of these children singing these praises. I can try to tell him all day long how the Lord used it for me but until you hear with your own ears you'll never know. He heard last night and now knows what I've been trying to described for a year now. Same for my best friend.

Thank you Lord. You are so good to me..... #preparation #hearttying

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

A few ps's:

-If you have the opportunity to do the Bible Study by Priscilla Shirer called Gideon, I HIGHLY recommend it! Some of this power & patient talk was learned from her study & the Word!

-Always wear a helmet while riding a bike. Hence the "er trip" from our summer shenanigans.

-If it rains on your beach trip, turn around and spend the rest of the day soaking in some good talk time with your BFF poolside. It will not be a wasted trip. I promise!

-Grab your kids and play in the rain for once. You'd be surprised how much fun it is!

-Grab the lawn mower & try mowing the grass. The Lord just might show up :)

See ya' Doss-c-a!!!!

We mailed off the last of our paperwork TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Don't let these faces fool you, they are excited about their sister.
{It's the whole boy/always have to take picture faces. Some of you can relate!}

Would you join with us in praying for this sweet package?

Pray for:

*it to make to our Agency in the mail
*for all of the dates/spellings/figures to be correct
*for the other mailings to be successful
*for the translation to be easy
*for Ethiopia to find favor with us

I can't go any further without a few "thank yous!"

To the friends/families who have written referral letters!
To the notaries!!
To the Employers for references!
To the ones who waived fees for us bc we are adopting!
To the "dumbo" ears for all the questions, you know who you are :)

Thank you for your time in helping us get this done!!

This is a HUGE step in the time line friends!!

Once this packet of paperwork is translated and approved we will officially be "in waiting!"
The average wait time for the current families in our agency are averaging 6-12 months.
This sounds so long but the past 9 months have FLOWN by. It's been 9 months since we were accepted into our Agency. AND we got news yesterday that our agency has partnered with an additional orphanage so hopefully this will speed up wait time a little!

All in all, we just trust.

Trust: Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Trust in our Mighty God.

Part of me feels like this journey is just beginning.

From here on out, their won't be any paperwork milestones, no goals to reach, just sitting in the waiting room. Waiting for our name to be called.

God made the length of pregnancy 9 months for a reason. Every month something vital to that child's life is happening inside of the womb. Every month we wait, there is something vital happening in the life of our daughter. And in our lives. There is more preparation needed. Other events have to take place. Strengthening to take place.

For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.

James 1:3

He is the orchestrator of it all. We are trusting in His sovereignty.

Sovereignty: Supreme power or authority

While we wait we will seek His face and lift our hands high in praise for all He has done and all He will do!
And pray for our precious one!
For rain in Ethiopia so the farmers will have a great crop and she will have plenty of food.
For her mental & physical growth to be right on track.
For the Lord to send missionaries to her orphanage to love on her and pray over her.
For the orphanage workers to know Christ.
And for Lily to know we are longing and praying for her daily!!

Yes I am confident I will see the Lord's goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

Psalm 27:13-14

So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help.

Isiah 30: 18

My best friend gave these to me today.

We'll just call these my Dossier (Doss-c-a) Beads.

It's been a good day friends, a good day!

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace,

Kim

Music in the waiting room....

Finga-prints & BEACH!

We had a great family day last Friday and went down to Jacksonville to have our fingerprints done at U.S. Department of Homeland Security!!

What exactly does this mean & what is it for??

It means the United States is giving us permission to bring an orphan from another country into the US. When we finally receive her referral (aka-know who she is) we will be able to have her name (birth name) listed as the orphan.

The more of this process we get to do as a family the happier it makes this momma! We pray/talk about Lily all of the time and try to include the boys in as much as we can when it comes to what the Lord has done, how we can save in preparation for her, rearranging their rooms to make room for her etc but THIS was as all inclusive as you can get!
Greeting the guard at the door, going thru security, sitting and waiting for our number to be called, the whole 9 yards they got to see! It was great! We couldn't take the camera in, had to have our cell phones off & they even threw my gum away! #worthit

{side note} This particular day we chose to have this done, was "Ceremony Day" and we didn't know it! As we sat on one side of the room we watched the other side of the room fill up with people of all sorts of nationalities & race. They were all becoming US Citizens on this day!! They all wore their best dress and all had the biggest smiles ever! Some brought their families along. Such an exciting day in their lives!!!
I couldn't help but think of the day I became a daughter of the King and celebrated in baptism. What a beautiful reminder of what Christ does for us! He just brings us ALL in. No matter our skin color or nationality!!! Brings tears to my eyes!!

All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it!

1 Cor 12:27

We took pb&j and ate it on the way to the beach!! It's been several years since we have all been at the beach together!! We had such a great time and even found a little pink seashell to bring home with us <3

So what's next and HOW MUCH LONGER??!?!?!

We are in the process of gathering our last little bit of paperwork!

Here are a few examples of what this includes:

* Original/certified copies of: Birth Certificates/marriage license/divorce decree
* Reference letters from 3 friends
* Bank Letter
* Medical Examinations
* Letter of Intent to Ethiopia {Basically explaining why we would like to adopt a child from ET.}
* Power of Attorney
*Home Study

This is for our Dossier (doss-c-a) and will go directly to Ethiopia. Once it's translated/approved we will be placed on an official WAITING LIST! Our estimated wait time is 6-12 months. My prayer is that by Christmas we have at least been on the list for a few months!!! Trusting in the Lords timing all the way!!

I can't WAIT to show you a picture of us mailing off this Dossier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim