THE CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have wondered for 4 years what it would feel like to type this.....

WE GOT OUR REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The call came last Friday. I had just picked up the boys from school & was pulling into the ATM in Leesburg when she initially called to "check in on us & ask me a few questions" and then said "ok I'll check in with you later."
30 min's later she called back & said "Ok, I have a file for you. It's a boy. He just turned 6. Are you interested?" UMMMMMM YES MA'AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I was shaking and covering my mouth bc it was the UGLY CRY as I was driving us home! It was 4:15pm and Roger couldn't come home until after 5pm but I meant I was not going to open that email without him!!

They gave us the weekend to pray through it and ultimately gave us two weeks to make a decision but after a series of events by Monday evening we knew he was ours!!! We called our agency Tuesday morning after Bible Study and said YES!!! He’s OURS!!
   
After we hung up we cried and thanked Jesus and cried some more. 

I went on to Wal-Mart and attempted to grocery shop. I was grinning like an idiot at every stranger I saw. Feeling like I had a HUGE secret I wanted to shout out to the whole store but knew not everyone would get it or understand so I just grinned and said hey. I ran into a friend from church and just couldn't hold it any longer. WE JUST GOT A REFERRAL & showed her his picture!! :):):):)
I managed to get most of what we needed and bought a 5x7 frame so we could print his picture and tell the boys that night.
I fixed their supper and waited as patiently as I could for them to get done and called them all over to the couch & hit record on my phone.

 I have been in a fog the past week. 
Hard to keep my thoughts together. 
Can't stop smiling. Still feels surreal like I can't believe it's happened! 
**We can not post personal information about him online including his name & picture** BUT I am happy show you in person. Please ask me & I will gladly show you :) 

Wednesday we mailed off another packet of acceptance paperwork & got our PRAISE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

So what’s next?

*Pray. For the Lord to begin preparing the soil of his heart to receive the seed of the GOSPEL & for him to be LOVED BIG when he gets here! 
*Pray for much grace. There will be gain on our end of  welcoming him into our family but significant loss in his life. Jesus be near, in, all, around, before, behind. I don't know what else to say.
*Fundraising for travel funds.
*Our agency still has several documents that need to be gathered before he can be submitted to US immigration approval. This can take anywhere from a few weeks, to several months or I’ve heard in some cases over a year.
Would you pray with us that these documents will be easily gathered so he can be submitted by Christmas?(that would be the best GIFT EVER!) 
*After approval we are assigned a court date in Ethiopia.
*BUY AIRPLANE TICKETS TO ETHIOPIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We’ll meet him, go to court, come home while those documents are being processed then take a second trip back to get him & bring him home FOREVER!! 

O Lord, I will honor & praise Your Name, for You are my God.

You do such wonderful things! You planned them long ago and now you have accomplished them!

Is 25:1

There is still much to accomplish but as of this week we are basking in the greatness and grace of our God. 
The One Who is continuing to do the work He began. 
The One who is Faithful and accomplishes His plans. 
He who makes the crooked paths straight.
Who brings the mountains low & makes a path no one knew was even there.

Who are we Lord, who are we. 

We give praise to Your matchless and majestic Name. 
There is none like You, Father. 

None like You.  

Don't give up hope my friend if you are in a season of waiting. 
God is not a far off God. He is near. He hears, He see's, He is aware of your circumstances in life right at this very moment. 
The gift of His presence & our salvation is enough.  
Take your eyes off of your circumstances and FIX them on Christ.
HE IS OUR REWARD. 
  

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Heb 12:2

 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Cor 4:18

Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on Earth. For you have died & your life in hidden with Christ in God.

Col 3:2-3

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

One joyful momma of FOUR BOYS {i still can't believe it!!!!}

Ps- You might be saying to yourself, wait, I thought this was supposed to be a girl who's name would be Lily.

Well my friend, I did too.  The humbling thing about surrendering your life to Christ is that it's every part of  your life. Your hopes, your dreams, your plans, your desires. You delight in Him and He'll make your dreams, hopes and desires into His and it will be EVEN be better than you could ever imagine. It will be His Best.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine."

Isaiah 55:8

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Eph 3:20

Obedience

This is Jesus speaking:

When you obey My commandments, you remain in My love, just as I obey my Father's commandments  and remain in His love.

John 15:10

How do we remain/abide in His love?

How did Jesus remain/abide in His Father's love?

Through obedience. 

Through obeying His commands.

What was the Father's command for His Son? What was His will for Jesus?

 But it was the LORD's good plan to crush Him and cause Him grief. Yet when His life is made an offering for sin, He will have many descendants. He will enjoy a long life, and the LORD's good plan will prosper in His hands.

Isaiah 53:10

 God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through Him.

John 3:17

God's plan was for His Son Jesus to die. 

To crush Him. 

For Him to suffer. 

Rejected. 

Beaten. 

Betrayed. 

To die. 

And Jesus willingly obeyed His Father's command. Jesus was obedient....to death.

I dare say Obedience = suffering & at times death

Dying to our flesh, daily. For myself, minute by minute.

Jesus loved His Father and wanted to please His Father.

The expression of His love was His obedience. 

He showed His Father how much He loved Him by submitting to His plan for Him to die. 

Do we obey God's commands for a reward? 

For a "blessing?"

Are we obeying Him just to  receive something something out of it? A personal gain? A desire of the flesh satisfied? 

Do we tithe "so we'll have all of our financial needs met" or do we simply tithe because God's Word says to tithe and because we love God and want to please Him we obey His Word?

Are we obeying to adopt so we'll have a cute little girl running around here with a pink tutu & converse and take super cute pictures of her to paste all over social media and my heart will be fulfilled having a girl to complete our tribe? 

I confess to you it has taken me almost 3 years to come to the place of obedience with out a reward along this adoption road. 

I say it to my kids all the time.

"My desire is for you to obey because you love me, not out of fear of discipline or for a reward."

What was Jesus' reward? Knowing He pleased His Father's plan for His life.

John 15: 11 is what got me this morning....

I have told you these things so that you will be filled with My joy. 

Yes, your joy will overflow!

John 15:11

Jesus knew that obedience brings joy! That's what He's telling us these things. 

When we obey we will be filled with HIS Joy.

The JOY of obedience.

Obedience = Suffering = Joy

I know, it's a mystery. 

Not all obedience is easy, fun, feels good. In fact is produces suffering. But that suffering leads to JOY! His joy. Not joy from things of this world. 

It sheds a whole 'nother light on:

The joy of the Lord is your strength!

Neh 8:10

Obedience leads to sacrifice. A giving up of something. A surrendering. 

All throughout scripture obedience resulted in sacrifice. 

When God told Abraham in Gen 12:1 to "leave your native country, your relatives & your father's family, and go to the land I will show you" he sacrificed & gave up a lot! And then God told Abraham to kill his only son Isaac as a sacrifice in Gen 22. Hello! But each time Abraham was obedient to God's command. 

God's sacrifice for us was giving up His one and only Son.

He gave Him up so that WE would have eternal life.

Obedience may not feel good, make sense at times; chances are its in direct opposition to what your flesh desires but if you obey God's command and His will, it will lead to JOY. And that joy will be your STRENGTH. 

 

Standing on the edge, choosing obedience, knowing it might result in a lot of suffering but knowing it will please the Lord when we walk in obedience is enough. 

Dying to self and living life through the lens of eternity, the forever battle until Heaven. 

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

 On the shore of Haiti.

"Lily" in Haiti!

I wanted to share a little bit about our trip to Haiti this past summer!

I had no idea what to expect on this trip just that Emily and I would be teaching Vacation Bible School to about 100 children in a small village just outside of Petite Goave called Morne Tapion.
We broke down the book of Esther into 4 days and had a craft for the boys & a craft for the girls specific for that day to go along with the lesson.

The place where all of this went down was at a school in the village. They wereon vacation (summer break) so the school was used as a gathering place to teach VBS, hold medical clinic for adults in the village, feed the kids and for CPA to lead a Women's Bible study.

The plan was the teach the kids the lesson combined with a translator and then split with Emily taking the girls & me with the boys for crafts. Our first craft were crowns!
It was extremely challenging to communicate with these kids due to our lack of French/Creole  & only having 1 translator.We did a lot of holding things up and showing them what to do. They are super smart :)

 The boys Day 1.

There were a LOT of kids the first day!

Day 1 I noticed there was a significant amount of small children and a handful of older ones. Older meaning 12+. There was one in particular that was in the back of the room. His name is Ydson, pronounced "Edson." He was quiet but participated. He wasn't loud or seeking attention. He had a gentle disposition and was willing to help me with the smaller ones if I asked him. I was drawn to him & wanted to know more about his story when time allowed.

After craft time we did recreation and passed out some small light up footballs and got out the bubble guns. They loved it!

And a local climb up a coconut tree with his machete and cut off the top for us to drink some fresh coconut juice! It was warm and sweet!

Day 3 was the day in our lesson we prepared to share the Gospel. Our craft that day were salvation bracelets.

The challenge with so many children is that it's hard to do things with few hands. Emily and I laid in the bed the night before and begged the Lord for wisdom in just logistically and simply presenting the Gospel and executing the craft so that it would be as effective as possible. Knowing the Holy Spirit is Who draws the salvation but wanting the lesson do be done the best way possible with as much organization as we could.
Up until Day 3 we had gathered all of the children in one room, boys & girls for the Bible teaching and Em took the girls and I took the boys for craft but by Day 3 there were SO MANY more kids.

We ended up after the lesson taking a small group, around 40, into a separate room with Emily and I & a translator and doing the craft and then bringing in another set of kids. It worked perfectly and we praised Him for the insight He gave! We were able to easily communicate the Gospel and each color of the salvation bracelet & what they symbolized! They repeated to us what each meant and we really felt they understood!

Towards the end of the craft we asked if anyone in the room had accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and several of them raised their hands, including Ydson! I was thrilled and relieved all at the same time!! I turned my back from them and just thanked the Lord for Ydson's salvation! I have no idea why I had this reaction. I guess bc I had been wondering if he was saved but just couldn't get to him to talk! My thoughts immediately went to discipleship, accountability, mentorship, what's his prayer life like, has he been baptized. Does he have a Bible? Who is pouring in to young man's life and teaching him God's Word?! I longed for some time with him to talk!!

They asked for soccer balls during recreation and we didn't have any with us so when we went to market that afternoon we bought them boys some soccer balls!

Emily snapped some pictures of Ydson and I playing keep away with some of the other boys!

One afternoon we had some down time and I asked one of the boys, name Regal who knew English if he would be willing to translate for me bc I really wanted to sit down with Ydson and know more about him. I wanted to know how long he had been saved, if he was an orphan or lived at home with his parents. I just wanted to talk with him. He said sure. Turns out, Regal the translator & Ydson are cousins.

So we pulled up a couple of chairs and Ydson was looking at me like I was a crazy blanc (white) and I could tell he wasn't sure what was going on . I told Regal our translator to tell him that I was a momma of 3 boys, the oldest being 13 & that the Lord had fashioned my heart for boys and I that is why I was drawn to him. I begin to show him pictures of my husband and children on my phone and after a few minutes he felt comfortable enough to ask me a few questions.

He wanted to know what school was like in the States so I told him what an average day looked like for Cameron and what his activities consisted of. He wanted to know about soccer and sports so I told him about Roger coaching with the church soccer and that my boys played.

Then I asked him some questions.

He told me the date he was saved and said he had not been baptized. He is not an orphan and lives with his family. His father is a masonary and his mother makes and sells things. He is 17 and in the 7th grade and loves school. He has 3 sisters and 1 brother and they were all there.

As we were talking a young woman came up and pulled up a chair and sat down. She had been there all week and was a familiar face. She began asking Regal, the translator, questions to me. Was I married, did I have children, how old were they. After she learned that we have all boys she said "You need a girl!" I pointed to my stomach and told her that I couldn't have children any longer and she grabbed my arm with the look of sadness on her face. After a few minutes of trying to explain that we were adopting she finally understood. I told her that we were open to a boy or a girl.
She asked me what would I name her if we had a girl and I told her LILY.

Regal, our translator, busted out laughing. 

I asked him what he was laughing at and this was his response as he pointed to Ydson....

"That is his nickname in the village; Lily. They have called him that his whole life."

Ydson's nickame in the village is Lily.

What.in.the.WORLD.

I stood up and tried to find Emily with my eyes since she was the ONLY one there who would get why in the WORLD I was sitting there with tears streaming down my face. I couldn't find her so I sat there in the center of all of those faces staring at me and all I could say was "Jezi" which means Jesus.

Please don't read this and think that I think of this as some sort of sign because I don't.
I really don't. I do think, I KNOW, the Lord is intimately involved in a every detail of our lives though and that little moment in the village on the side of a mountain in Haiti that day was no happen stance.

The very last day was my favorite time with Ydson. From the moment I found out he was saved I wanted to talk with Him about the Lord and see what his relationship with Christ looked like. Before we left I took out my Bible and Ydson, Regal and myself stood there and talked about God's Word. He thumbed through the pages like he had never seen one before, looking at the front and back, scanning the pages with his hands. Come to find out he doesn't-well didn't- own one.
He does now! And so does Regal.

Regal to the left & Ydson to the right.

"This book is more important than any other book you have, Ydson.Treasure this Book & read it everyday." We talked that day about creation, fruit of the Spirit, Proverbs, lust, purity, him leading his brothers & sisters. I wished so badly we could have talked for several hours but we only little time left. Since then, I've prayed some of the same prayers for Ydson that I have my own boys.

To say that I'm excited to see him again and hear all about what God has done in his life over this past year is an understatement. I'm OVER THE MOON excited!!

If it's the Lords will, we will return to Haiti this July and Roger and Cameron will go with us!  I left burdened for discipleship with those older kids. (Esp the boys) They are the next generation growing up in that village. They are the next leaders! Roger is preparing several lessons to teach them while we are there. You can be in prayer for that!


 Lily in Haiti.... who would've guessed it? :)

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace,

Kim

Other Plans.

There's so much to say.....

January: Our agency informed us that they officially lost their license in Ethiopia and we were given 2 decisions; Switch countries and remain with this agency or change agencies and start over with Ethiopia.

Listen, this battle of "changing countries" (this time it was Uganda) had been looming over us for what seems like a year and each time we have asked the Lord for guidance, a peace has never been given to make the change.

I found myself in Ps 143.

QUICKLY LORD answer me...
SHOW US where to walk...
TEACH US to do YOUR will....
HOLY SPIRIT LEAD US forward on firm footing...
FOR.THE.GLORY.OF.YOUR.NAME!

I begged this from the Lord. Cried out honestly.

Now in praying for the Lord to show us what to do, we researched what our options were.
Since Uganda was the other country choice I posted on a FB group for Uganda Momma's to please contact me bc I had some questions. Adoption peeps *UGANDA MOMMA'S HAVE THEIR JUNK TOGETHER!* Each country has their own thing going as far how how adoptions are facilitated and most adoptions from Uganda are done independently from an agency. I was allowed to be a part of private FB group for Uganda momma's and received straight up facts and also asked them if they had heard of a couple of names our agency gave us they were working with in Uganda.

The other option was to switch agencies and start all over. The one I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO DO! Trust another agency after what we have been through the past 2 years? Trust another agency after this one just all of a sudden lost their license? Trust another agency PERIOD? START OVER? We've been #1 for almost 8 months! We've waited over a year (which is nothing honestly)! All our paperwork is done! We are logged into ET already! START.OVER???? Bless....

There were several agencies still active with Ethiopia that I contacted and each time had very pleasant experiences and positive but also truthful information about the stability of ET adoptions. (A lot has happened since Christmas.) I also reached out to a few friends & strangers and asked for personal references regarding their experiences with one agency specifically. The feedback was positive and so I did more research on this agencies license in ET, called with specific questions regarding ethical adoptions, etc. After several conversations with this agency and pleasant email correspondence (listen, at this point I was in tears talking with the lady bc she was so nice compared to what we had experienced the past 2 years-I'm sure she thinks I'm cra) I gave it all to Roger and said "If we switch agencies this is the one."

Roger and I prayed together and separately and had one final call to make with our agency to talk with them one last time about some specifics and make sure we understanding exactly what the deal was.

We prayed together over the phone and made the conference call.

You know what, the Lord reveals His will in many ways. This time it was through a negative circumstance and we knew the second the phone call ended what the Lord would have us do.

We withdrew from our agency on Friday, Feb 14th (Valentines Day, I know, right?) and were accepted into the International Adoption Agency (IAN) family on Feb 17th.
We had just gotten out of a movie with the kids so we were all together as a family and sitting in the car when we got the call we were accepted. I was thankful to the Lord for Him allowing all of us to be together for that!

(this pictures is before we went in for the movie but describes perfectly the way we felt after the call. Minus the tears! ) 

Over the course of Feb 14-Feb 17 my body was acting very strange.
And by strange I mean all signs were pointing to the fact that I was pregnant.

I felt sick sick to my stomach, I wanted to eat certain things, several other woman things were happening &  my body physically was acting like it was pregnant JUST like it did with each of my pregnancies with my boys. 

Sunday morning I told Roger I couldn't stand it but after church we were going straight to the store to get a test.

So we did.....

 It was negative.

I was shocked honestly bc I just felt physically exactly the way I did when I was pregnant with the boys.

I'll be curious to know further on down the road what, if anything, was transpiring around this time and welp, let's face it, we are paper-pregnant again to say the least ;) And have a new beginning with a new agency.

Was starting over what I wanted to do. Ummm NO. But, it was exactly what the Lord had in mind.

Here are a couple of testimonies of what He has done since we've changed agencies.

Remember that $20,000 grant we received like right at the start of our paperwork process several years ago? If you don't remember you have GOT to read about what He did here!

Well, we had a balance of $17,600 left over.

When IAN sent me the fee sheet, guess what the cost totaled?

$17,600!!!!!

Only the Lord y'all. 

We have literally started over with paperwork.
Application fee, application paperwork, Program paperwork, re-doing our Dossier-whole 9 yards.

Now, usually you are not placed on the dreaded wait-list until all of your documents have been complete.

They allowed us to enter onto the wait-list while we are gathering our Dossier Documents!

Only the Lord y'all.

Here is the other thing.

Our previous agency was classified as a Christian Agency. This new agency is not.
Our prayer is that through this the Lord will use our case, use us, to draw someone who might be lost to salvation in Jesus Christ. If one person comes to saving faith in Him, ONE person, this starting over will be worth every.single.tear.shed!
Will you pray for us? For all of our interaction with this agency that they will see Christ? 

 Can I be real for just a minute?

We have reached the point in the process that honestly, in my own heart, it's not even about the child/children. It's about me and the Lord.

There has been some MAJOR sanctification going on up in here.
When you take your eyes off of your circumstances and FIX them on the Lord, it changes everything.

Do I still long for her? Absolutely.
But do I long for the Lord more, you bet your bottom dollar.

Do I still think of her and pray for her? Yes ma'am I do.
But do I desire His Word above anything else, YES.I.DO!

The story of Esther along with the story of Lazarus have comforted me a lot during this season of my life. (There are sooooo many things to glean from these stories!) And have cause me to examine my motives, my view of the Lord's character and His glory & His holiness.

After Jesus received word that Lazarus was sick, instead of leaving & going to him immediately, He choose to stay where He was for 2 more days. (John 11:5)

Then He told His disciples "Lazarus is dead. And for your sakes, I'm glad I wasn't there, for now you will really believe. Come, let's go see him." (John 11:14)

After Jesus finally arrived, He was told Lazarus had been in the grave for four days.
Mary fell at His feet and said "If you had only been here, my brother would not have died!" (John 11:32)

What if Jesus would have came immediately when He heard Laz was sick? He more than likely would have spared his life and sure, people would been astonished.

BUT: 

What would have brought the Lord more glory? 
What would have caused more people to have faith and believe in Christ?

Healing a sick man?
Or raising a dead man who had been in the grave for four days?

What would have made Mary more comfortable and pleased her more?
For Jesus to come quickly and heal Laz before he died? Or allow him to die & be buried for 4 days?

I have been Mary. I have wanted the Lord to come quickly and complete this part of our adoption process by giving us a referral and bringing Lily home.
Don't you see how hard & painful this is Lord? I know it's within Your power to do this! Come quickly and fulfill this promise! Make this roller coaster end.

But Jesus choose to delay in coming. He waited for Lazarus to die. And he was really dead. Like 4 days dead.
But oh when Jesus called Lazarus out from that grave!

After Jesus had the stone over the entrance of Lazarus' grave rolled away He said to Martha "Didn't I tell you that you would see God's glory if you believe?" (John 11:40)

After Lazarus was called out of the grave and came walking out alive the Bible says "Many of the people who were with Mary believed in Jesus when they saw this happen." (John 11:45)

So, if the Lord will receive more glory from a 4-5 year adoption rode, that has been started and re-started, hard, painful & bumpy than a smooth, 2 year rode---we.are.willing.to.go.there.

If more people will "believe in Christ" & place their faith in Him because of this delay---we.are.willing.to.go.there.

All along the way knowing He is sovereign- moving in situations, preparing hearts, working behind the scenes in places our earthly eye can not see- we are choosing to see and believe with our spiritual eyes- that He will finish what He has started, His plans will prevail. No matter how long it takes. No matter how painful it is. No matter how much it costs--we.are.all.in.
 
We can't thank you enough for all of the prayers lifted up on our behalf. On Lily's behalf &  the thoughtful tangible gifts along the way. They have encourage us so much! His little nuggets of mercy along the way and through grace we receive them.

As far as numbers go we are on the lists:

Infant Girl: 40, #24 of active families

Toddler Girl: 39, #26 of active families

Sibling group: 24, #17 of active families

So we are on 3 different lists & our #'s on the wait list are :
 #24
#26
#17

Not too bad I think! Honestly I was expecting a WHOLE lot worse!

Questions:

*So how long now?

The reality is that it could be years. They are giving us the general 18-24 month approx time but new requirements have been added to the process that will lengthen.

What's this sibling group stuff about?

From the start we felt the Lord wanted us to be willing to be open to a sibling group. Meaning if Lily has a brother or sister they would come home with us.

Over the past few weeks we have opened up our age range a bit & listed a few special needs.

We are now open to a female 0-5 & the second child 0-11.

Can I be real again?

I'm praying she has an older brother who is 11. I know, it's crazy. Please read 2 Cor 5:13.
This boy momma heart of mine.... I can't explain it. 
The Lord hard-wires us for His plans. It could include a single female or it could include 2 females or it could include a female and a male. Only the Lord knows.

Do you have all of the money you need?

No. We are always saving back in our Adoption Savings account for when it's time travel and if there are 2 children we will need to raise approx $7-10,000 more. He will provide. I'm confident of this!

What about you? Do you have any questions?

We've been continuing on with life just as He would have it.

I'm entering into a season of busy-ness with work, the kids have 1 month left of school, and Roger just got back from Cuba. Nothing has slowed down :)

not by sight.

2 Cor 5:7

We are keeping our eyes on Him, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. With Him nothing is impossible and with Him we can do anything because He is our strength! He's all we want, He's all we long for. More of Him and less of us. Less of satisfying our own comfort and ease. We are taking up our cross and dying daily to our flesh all for His glory and to walk intimately with Him.
Do you know Him? Have you trusted Him as Lord and Savior of your life? I would love to talk with you if you haven't!!

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory & grace,


Kim

Staying & Standing

Sometimes when you're mind and emotions are so wrapped up in making a decision is can make it even more difficult. And if I'm honest, for me, makes it almost impossible to pray about the situation.
That's where I found myself in praying about staying with Ethiopia or changing countries. Quit honestly I got tired of thinking about myself and how I was feeling or how confused I was or how foggy my mind was. I couldn't just sit and read the Word without trying to filter every.single.passage. through the "we've got to make a decision lens." I just wanted to read it. Cause you know we can manipulate anything to go our way and slap "This is the word Lord gave us about this" behind it. Does that make sense?

After talking out & praying with a trusted sister in Christ {if you don't have one or two of those, I encourage you to ask the Lord for one/them} about the situation I decided to just start praying for my husband. The head/leader/king of our castle/captain of the boat, that's what we refer to him as anyway :)
The focus of my prayer was centered on Roger walking blameless before the Lord, asking the Lord to convict him of any sin so he could have the Lord's ear and hear clearly from Him. That He would speak to Roger and give him direction for our family, that Roger would abide in God's word and be very sensitive to the Holy Spirit.

All the while it has been time to update our Home study.
Paperwork expires and things have to be updated.

So we began re-doing things.
Fingerprints.
Medicals.
Employment verification.
Financial Information.
Etc.

It was an opportunity to see some of the same folks we had seen a year ago.
The Lord gave us opportunities to talk about that His faithfulness and share a little more about the process and domestic/international/DFACS/agencies; all sorts of stuff.

Ps-add in a week of bronchitis for Roger and round of antibiotics for me and we managed to come out alive.
Remembering October....

We're always thinking of you sweet girl.

You're always on our mind.

In Numbers 13 God promised this land to His people. He said it was theirs and that they should take it. When His people saw opposition they became cowards and started to not believe that what God had said was true. There was a nation in their way and they didn't believe God would deliver them over that nation. They sent spies and saw the land was good, but feared the the people who were in the land. They started to grumble (because it wasn't easy) and wish they had died in the wilderness or in Egypt  The promise land standing in front of them they wished they had died lost in the wilderness or as a slave in Egypt! So Moses and Aaron fell to their faces and prayed. Through their prayers, their faith, God forgave His people but there were still a consequence. God allowed an entire generation to be wiped out before giving them victory of the promise land! Moses said something so simple, but so amazing ... v. 41 - "Why are you disobeying the Lord's command? This will not succeed!" God had already delivered that land to His people, but His people were afraid that the enemy was too big, to strong and they didn't think they could conquer them. 
We will not be afraid! The Lord will give us victory for His name sake.
He gave Roger a Word and a peace.

We are staying. We are standing.

We are staying with Ethiopia.

*deep breath*long sigh*

This whole situation reminded me of 3 years ago THIS MONTH that I turned in my notice to my

-full time 8-5
-consistent paycheck
-health insurance
-retirement stuff
-incredible relationships with people I love dearly and still do
-highest paying job I'd ever had
-job that I knew if I left I'd never find another place like it, where we prayed together every morning before the work day began, I mean ALL the employees prayed together
-BEST JOB I'D EVER HAD

to be a stay at home/work at home momma and trust the Lord with His photography business full time.

SCARED TO DEATH- HARDEST DECISION OF MY LIFE.

We could have stayed at the bank where it was

-comfortable
-consistent
-routine
-planned
-safe
-dependable
-easy

And the Lord would have still loved us and used us and blessed us.

Leaving  required us to trust the Lord more than me staying.
Leaving required us to cling to the Word more than me staying.
Leaving required position us to rely on Him for everything.

Has it been easy? Absolutely not. Has everything made sense? Absolutely not.
But I tell you one thing, I would do it all over again.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Eph 3:20

And we are.

And that's exactly what we are trusting Him for with staying with Ethiopia.

It would be easier for us to change countries, taking matters into our own hands getting paperwork going, SEEING movement, getting the ball rolling, speeding things up.

We are trusting Him for the hard. We are trusting Him for Ethiopia. He is faithful and we know it.
And we will wait. For how long? Until He tells us to move.
Faith of a mustard seed. Faith.of.a.mustard.seed. waiting for this mountain to move.

Prepare the way of the Lord,

Make straight in the desert

a highway for our God.

Every valley shall be exalted

And every mountain and hill brought low;

The crooked places shall be made straight

and the rough places smooth;

The glory of the Lord shall be revealed,

and all flesh shall see it together.

Isaiah 40:3-5

I can't tell you enough how much your prayers have meant to us.
You hear people say or read people type "praying for you" but to KNOW someone is sincerely thinking of you and bringing you to the Father in prayer is humbling as all get out.
Cherished brother and sisters in Christ, we have felt the body of Christ by your prayers. Thank you for every hug, every text, every FB message, every blog comment.

We are believing the Lord for this license issue. Please continue to pray with us.

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace,

Kim

BUT THEN.... one year.

***Please don't skip over reading this Psalm & go straight to have I have written. 

I guarantee you there is more power in God's Word than in a single period of a question mark in mine.***

Psalm 77

I cry out to God; yes I shout.

Oh, God that You would listen to me!

When I was in deep trouble,

I searched for the Lord.
All night long I prayed, with hands lifted towards heaven,

but my soul was not comforted.

I think of God, and I moan,

overwhelmed with longing for His help.

You don't let me sleep.

I am too distressed even to pray!

I think of the good ole days, 

long since ended,

when my nights were filled with joyful songs.

I search my soul and ponder the difference now.

Has the Lord rejected me forever?

Will He never be kind to me again?

Is His unfailing love gone forever?

Have His promises permanently failed?

Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has He slammed the door on His compassion?

And I said "This is my fate, the Most High has turned His hand against me."

BUT THEN I recall all You have done, O Lord,

I REMEMBER Your wonderful deeds of long ago.

They are constantly in my thoughts. 

I cannot stop thinking about Your mighty works.

O God, Your ways are holy.

Is there any god as mighty as You?

You are the God of great wonders!

You demonstrate Your awesome power among the nations.

By Your strong arm, You redeemed Your people, the descendants of Jacob & Joseph. 

When the Red Sea saw You, O God, its waters looked and trembled!

The sea quaked to its very depths.

The clouds poured down rain;

the thunder rumbled in the sky.

Your arrows of lightning flashed.

Your thunder roared from the whirlwind; the lightning lit up the world!

The earth trembled and shook.

Your road led through the sea, Your pathway through the mighty waters-

a pathway no one knew was there!

You led Your people along that road

like a flock of sheep,

with Moses and Aaron as their shepherds. 

I can identify with this Psalm. Especially within the past week.

We received not so good news from our agency regarding a license issue in Ethiopia and we were given options to seek the Lord about.

We can wait out the government making these changes to the license, with no time frame or guarantee that it will be resolved.

OR

We can change countries & leaving our Dossier in Ethiopia in case the government approves the license.

I know, you might be thinking "whats the big deal, change countries and roll with it."

Roll with it without the Lord possibly? No thank you.

We have come to a halt where a decision has to be made and if I could be honest it is overwhelming to think about. My emotions are so wrapped up in my thoughts "I'm too distressed to pray." I can not sleep and "my soul is not being comforted."

We laid in bed last night and I talking about "the good ole days" when we were completed the task at hand of paperwork and turning it in, going to bed at night with excitement "filled with joyful songs" and were fundraising seeing the Lord move and show off in big ways with BIG amounts. Everything was so exciting. 

My, oh my, what a different place we are in now.

It has been a year of waiting. A solid year of moving closer and closer to the top where we have finally reached the #1 spot and now look where we're at. The thought of the Lord "slamming the door on His compassion" of the country of Ethiopia being where our daughter is has crossed my mind, more than once. And when I think of the situation I can't help but to "moan" and wonder "What in the world are you doing, Lord? Will You ever be kind to us again?"

BUT THEN........

Oh, I am so thankful for His Word. 

I texted a portion of this passage to a friend this morning as encouragement and then as I began looking over the whole Psalm I found myself in tears half way through.

This Psalmist has been in my heart and wrote down on paper exactly where I have been for the last week.

Isn't it INCREDIBLE? The Word. This book written so long ago? It.is.alive.and relate-able and it SPEAKS!

Then BUT THEN... it's in the remembering and recalling....

{Through the lens of this adoption journey I began to recall ALL He has done.}

-The speediness of paperwork.

-The outpouring of friends with fun-raisers.

-The fact that every.single.time. we had paperwork to turn in, we had the funds! (sometimes you wait on the Lord to provide the money before you can turn in paperwork)

-The TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS HE GAVE US!!!

-And all through out this year of waiting the victories He has given us over sin & a restored marriage, the treasures from His Word, the intimate moments at His feet, the GRACE to endure the pruning and sanctify to be more like my Savior, the powerful private communion with my God and experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit like never before.

-The countless reminders of His presence through BIG things He knew would comfort me like, pink rainbows in an early morning sky, reminding me that HE IS a Promise Keeper & a Covenant Keeping God, or little things like her name in the most random places, like on the back of dressing room doors written in chalk or a random woman wearing precious jeans with little pink elephants on them and when I asked her who they were made by she said "Lily." 

I could go on and on....

The pathway the Lord chose to rescue the Israelites was HIS pathway. 

"...a pathway no one knew was there!"

I wonder what the Isrealites thought standing there looking at the Red Sea.

"This looks impossible. How will this ever work. What do you want us to do with that? Where's our boat? How will we all fit on it?" 

He made a way. 

And He WILL make a way and demonstrate His power among the nations and will redeem! 

And HE will be our Shepard and I will continue to pray for the "Moses" He has placed as our leader, my husband. 

This is my strength for today. 

And to remember and recall ALL He has done for us, not only in the adoption journey but on the CROSS! 

The power of sin is broken, death has been defeated and we.are.free!

(All of Romans)

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace,

Kim