Other Plans.

There's so much to say.....

January: Our agency informed us that they officially lost their license in Ethiopia and we were given 2 decisions; Switch countries and remain with this agency or change agencies and start over with Ethiopia.

Listen, this battle of "changing countries" (this time it was Uganda) had been looming over us for what seems like a year and each time we have asked the Lord for guidance, a peace has never been given to make the change.

I found myself in Ps 143.

QUICKLY LORD answer me...
SHOW US where to walk...
TEACH US to do YOUR will....
HOLY SPIRIT LEAD US forward on firm footing...
FOR.THE.GLORY.OF.YOUR.NAME!

I begged this from the Lord. Cried out honestly.

Now in praying for the Lord to show us what to do, we researched what our options were.
Since Uganda was the other country choice I posted on a FB group for Uganda Momma's to please contact me bc I had some questions. Adoption peeps *UGANDA MOMMA'S HAVE THEIR JUNK TOGETHER!* Each country has their own thing going as far how how adoptions are facilitated and most adoptions from Uganda are done independently from an agency. I was allowed to be a part of private FB group for Uganda momma's and received straight up facts and also asked them if they had heard of a couple of names our agency gave us they were working with in Uganda.

The other option was to switch agencies and start all over. The one I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO DO! Trust another agency after what we have been through the past 2 years? Trust another agency after this one just all of a sudden lost their license? Trust another agency PERIOD? START OVER? We've been #1 for almost 8 months! We've waited over a year (which is nothing honestly)! All our paperwork is done! We are logged into ET already! START.OVER???? Bless....

There were several agencies still active with Ethiopia that I contacted and each time had very pleasant experiences and positive but also truthful information about the stability of ET adoptions. (A lot has happened since Christmas.) I also reached out to a few friends & strangers and asked for personal references regarding their experiences with one agency specifically. The feedback was positive and so I did more research on this agencies license in ET, called with specific questions regarding ethical adoptions, etc. After several conversations with this agency and pleasant email correspondence (listen, at this point I was in tears talking with the lady bc she was so nice compared to what we had experienced the past 2 years-I'm sure she thinks I'm cra) I gave it all to Roger and said "If we switch agencies this is the one."

Roger and I prayed together and separately and had one final call to make with our agency to talk with them one last time about some specifics and make sure we understanding exactly what the deal was.

We prayed together over the phone and made the conference call.

You know what, the Lord reveals His will in many ways. This time it was through a negative circumstance and we knew the second the phone call ended what the Lord would have us do.

We withdrew from our agency on Friday, Feb 14th (Valentines Day, I know, right?) and were accepted into the International Adoption Agency (IAN) family on Feb 17th.
We had just gotten out of a movie with the kids so we were all together as a family and sitting in the car when we got the call we were accepted. I was thankful to the Lord for Him allowing all of us to be together for that!

(this pictures is before we went in for the movie but describes perfectly the way we felt after the call. Minus the tears! ) 

Over the course of Feb 14-Feb 17 my body was acting very strange.
And by strange I mean all signs were pointing to the fact that I was pregnant.

I felt sick sick to my stomach, I wanted to eat certain things, several other woman things were happening &  my body physically was acting like it was pregnant JUST like it did with each of my pregnancies with my boys. 

Sunday morning I told Roger I couldn't stand it but after church we were going straight to the store to get a test.

So we did.....

 It was negative.

I was shocked honestly bc I just felt physically exactly the way I did when I was pregnant with the boys.

I'll be curious to know further on down the road what, if anything, was transpiring around this time and welp, let's face it, we are paper-pregnant again to say the least ;) And have a new beginning with a new agency.

Was starting over what I wanted to do. Ummm NO. But, it was exactly what the Lord had in mind.

Here are a couple of testimonies of what He has done since we've changed agencies.

Remember that $20,000 grant we received like right at the start of our paperwork process several years ago? If you don't remember you have GOT to read about what He did here!

Well, we had a balance of $17,600 left over.

When IAN sent me the fee sheet, guess what the cost totaled?

$17,600!!!!!

Only the Lord y'all. 

We have literally started over with paperwork.
Application fee, application paperwork, Program paperwork, re-doing our Dossier-whole 9 yards.

Now, usually you are not placed on the dreaded wait-list until all of your documents have been complete.

They allowed us to enter onto the wait-list while we are gathering our Dossier Documents!

Only the Lord y'all.

Here is the other thing.

Our previous agency was classified as a Christian Agency. This new agency is not.
Our prayer is that through this the Lord will use our case, use us, to draw someone who might be lost to salvation in Jesus Christ. If one person comes to saving faith in Him, ONE person, this starting over will be worth every.single.tear.shed!
Will you pray for us? For all of our interaction with this agency that they will see Christ? 

 Can I be real for just a minute?

We have reached the point in the process that honestly, in my own heart, it's not even about the child/children. It's about me and the Lord.

There has been some MAJOR sanctification going on up in here.
When you take your eyes off of your circumstances and FIX them on the Lord, it changes everything.

Do I still long for her? Absolutely.
But do I long for the Lord more, you bet your bottom dollar.

Do I still think of her and pray for her? Yes ma'am I do.
But do I desire His Word above anything else, YES.I.DO!

The story of Esther along with the story of Lazarus have comforted me a lot during this season of my life. (There are sooooo many things to glean from these stories!) And have cause me to examine my motives, my view of the Lord's character and His glory & His holiness.

After Jesus received word that Lazarus was sick, instead of leaving & going to him immediately, He choose to stay where He was for 2 more days. (John 11:5)

Then He told His disciples "Lazarus is dead. And for your sakes, I'm glad I wasn't there, for now you will really believe. Come, let's go see him." (John 11:14)

After Jesus finally arrived, He was told Lazarus had been in the grave for four days.
Mary fell at His feet and said "If you had only been here, my brother would not have died!" (John 11:32)

What if Jesus would have came immediately when He heard Laz was sick? He more than likely would have spared his life and sure, people would been astonished.

BUT: 

What would have brought the Lord more glory? 
What would have caused more people to have faith and believe in Christ?

Healing a sick man?
Or raising a dead man who had been in the grave for four days?

What would have made Mary more comfortable and pleased her more?
For Jesus to come quickly and heal Laz before he died? Or allow him to die & be buried for 4 days?

I have been Mary. I have wanted the Lord to come quickly and complete this part of our adoption process by giving us a referral and bringing Lily home.
Don't you see how hard & painful this is Lord? I know it's within Your power to do this! Come quickly and fulfill this promise! Make this roller coaster end.

But Jesus choose to delay in coming. He waited for Lazarus to die. And he was really dead. Like 4 days dead.
But oh when Jesus called Lazarus out from that grave!

After Jesus had the stone over the entrance of Lazarus' grave rolled away He said to Martha "Didn't I tell you that you would see God's glory if you believe?" (John 11:40)

After Lazarus was called out of the grave and came walking out alive the Bible says "Many of the people who were with Mary believed in Jesus when they saw this happen." (John 11:45)

So, if the Lord will receive more glory from a 4-5 year adoption rode, that has been started and re-started, hard, painful & bumpy than a smooth, 2 year rode---we.are.willing.to.go.there.

If more people will "believe in Christ" & place their faith in Him because of this delay---we.are.willing.to.go.there.

All along the way knowing He is sovereign- moving in situations, preparing hearts, working behind the scenes in places our earthly eye can not see- we are choosing to see and believe with our spiritual eyes- that He will finish what He has started, His plans will prevail. No matter how long it takes. No matter how painful it is. No matter how much it costs--we.are.all.in.
 
We can't thank you enough for all of the prayers lifted up on our behalf. On Lily's behalf &  the thoughtful tangible gifts along the way. They have encourage us so much! His little nuggets of mercy along the way and through grace we receive them.

As far as numbers go we are on the lists:

Infant Girl: 40, #24 of active families

Toddler Girl: 39, #26 of active families

Sibling group: 24, #17 of active families

So we are on 3 different lists & our #'s on the wait list are :
 #24
#26
#17

Not too bad I think! Honestly I was expecting a WHOLE lot worse!

Questions:

*So how long now?

The reality is that it could be years. They are giving us the general 18-24 month approx time but new requirements have been added to the process that will lengthen.

What's this sibling group stuff about?

From the start we felt the Lord wanted us to be willing to be open to a sibling group. Meaning if Lily has a brother or sister they would come home with us.

Over the past few weeks we have opened up our age range a bit & listed a few special needs.

We are now open to a female 0-5 & the second child 0-11.

Can I be real again?

I'm praying she has an older brother who is 11. I know, it's crazy. Please read 2 Cor 5:13.
This boy momma heart of mine.... I can't explain it. 
The Lord hard-wires us for His plans. It could include a single female or it could include 2 females or it could include a female and a male. Only the Lord knows.

Do you have all of the money you need?

No. We are always saving back in our Adoption Savings account for when it's time travel and if there are 2 children we will need to raise approx $7-10,000 more. He will provide. I'm confident of this!

What about you? Do you have any questions?

We've been continuing on with life just as He would have it.

I'm entering into a season of busy-ness with work, the kids have 1 month left of school, and Roger just got back from Cuba. Nothing has slowed down :)

not by sight.

2 Cor 5:7

We are keeping our eyes on Him, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. With Him nothing is impossible and with Him we can do anything because He is our strength! He's all we want, He's all we long for. More of Him and less of us. Less of satisfying our own comfort and ease. We are taking up our cross and dying daily to our flesh all for His glory and to walk intimately with Him.
Do you know Him? Have you trusted Him as Lord and Savior of your life? I would love to talk with you if you haven't!!

May the things of Earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory & grace,


Kim